I like shopping. No really. I enjoy wandering around looking at stuff I can't afford, can't work out its' function, n the ladies' underwear section (tools, automotive n sporting is like Romans and Roads - it goes without saying).
What I hate about shopping is people. Homo sapiens sapiens. Big ones, little ones, fat ones, skinny ones, kids especially.
Lets narrow it further to about half the human species. You know who you are and retribution is nigh arseholes.
I'm talking about those morons who:
A/ Stand at the top/middle/bottom of the stairs into the mall (imagine in your own contextual setting but where I shop there is a flight of stairs with a dogleg to the leg half way up from the parking level) to have a loud inane craptacular conversation with which ever other idiot they know feels like stopping. Folks - this is NOT the purpose of the stairs TAKE IT ELSEWHERE or I will start pushing you DOWN the steps.
B/ takes a possy (family friends who the f** cares)then proceeds to BLOCK the entire stairway while traversing it. This is just damn rude. Keep left shitwits.
C/ people who think its funny when little darren/sharon/nathan/tyler/sheree/ runs a fully laden trolley into your heels n laughs. Pick the litle snot up n keep laughing after Ive knocked it on its arse ya carns. I don't have ANY feelings for YOUR children - I don't have ANY feeling of collective responsibility for YOUR spawn (If i actually know you n your kids thats different). If they run into me they ARE gonna hit the floor cuz I am NOT gonna step aside from some snot nosed little brat that isnt looking where its going. Teach the little pricks some respect n the world will be a better place.
D/ people who wander round with their head up their collective arses not watching where they are going. This particularly shits me cuz i invariably have to put up with these idiots driving cars too. They are beyond redemption n when the revolution comes n I'm First citizen of the world these people in particular will be shot. You have been warned.
E/ Now in australia we drive on the left so for the retarded amongst US just swap over for your own country I aint pandering to the twits. I think it is a reasonable thing to expect people in shopping centres to walk on the left. Walk round the damn place like you drive on the road. Prevents bloody swerving left n right n getting hit by trolleys n slowly getting madder n hell while trying to calm a schizophrenic person down cuz even though she is taking her tablets regularly shopping always sends her brain on a spin (the fluro lights dont help either) just cuz people keep walking into her then looking at HER like its her fault THEY werent looking where the f*** they were going after we have just dodged like 60 OTHER idiots n got blindsided by you fuckyou very much.
Ya know what ticks me off the MOST about all of the above???
It doesn't actually require
A/ brains
B/ MUCH thoughtfulness or consideration
If everyone would just think a little each day BEFORE they went to the shops instead of packing their collective brains in a box under the house EVERYONE would enjoy the experience a little more.
We have to go shopping at 7am or like after 9pm when they are nice n quiet just so we dont go home screaming at each other n I dont start belting people who drive me nuts. Its not we are in a hurry either.
Oh and incidentally would it be TOO much to ask for you bloody bastards to either wear some deodorant or even better HAVE A FREAKING SHOWER once in a while - you stink ya filthy scum n I frankly dont see why I should have to tolerate it. Even PIGS bathe occasionally. And I really really enjoy seeing baby being changed at a coffee table or on a bench I may wanna sit on some day and I further really enjoy how you disgusting scum LEAVE the dirty nappy (I'll be cold n dead in my grave b4 I use 'diaper' ecept in this sense) sitting on the damn bench. *shudder* I think i may stay home for ever now.
yes yes stay inside the cold cant get you n the germs argh the germssssss.
Oh yeah n having a kidney infection plays hell with ya squash (fine motor control is shot to hell) so I'm cranky bout that too. IT takes me hella long to type (gotta hit each key about 6 times til ya get the right one n dialing the phone is a nightmare. Oddly, unless it is really bad (this episode isnt) whereby I am confined to bed, I can still drive a car just fine as its all gross motor control.
Driving standards next week.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
I'm in a decided commenty-type-mood tonight ... and surprisngly can't really think of anything to respond to this. Hrmmm ....
Surprisingly enough, I'm becoming less and less fond of shopping lately (I'm talking clothes here of ocurse). I've actually found it's harder the smaller I get ... at least when you're big you only have limited options. And when you go out expecting to look revolting in anything you try on, you grab the least hideous thing and head home. Suddenly I'm finding myself expecting to find something that makes me look stunning ... and when it doesn't, there's disappointment.
And there aren't specific "types" of people I don't like when I go shopping. I've just decided I don't actually like people en masse full stop.
Rocky i hate those types too.
Or mum n dad taking their screaming brat with them. LEAVE IT AT HOME WITH ONE PARENT... send the other shopping. Simple.
Kassi dear you look lovely in anything. Don't obsess over clothes they go in n out of fashion so easily.
Post a Comment