Wow
It has been almost 3 weeks since I wrote anything!!!
The shame the shame!
Sorry reader.
I've been somewhat deaf for the past 2 weeks or so though.
My right ear was chock full of wax n poking n probing only annoyed it more so I headed off to the doc for a syringing. Ahhhh... no more pain... STILL can't hear though...
Bought some stuff to help break up wax n went back to the doc a week later (still unable to hear). ANOTHER syringing... STILL couldnt hear could I?
bugger bugger bugger...
had another go with the syringe today n miracle of miracles!!! I can hear again!!!
God everything is loud! I think it wasnt so much not being able to hear on my right side that was annoyign but the huge pressure build up all the time. Like someone was filling my ear up with water every couple of seconds. It didnt hurt but it was really irritating.
So Ive been playing the American coaches' 'system' for 2 weeks now. I think all he has managed to do is actually clarify what one si supposed to do in a match. It is working though I hate to say. Ive cut out unforced errors almost completely. For me they are mostly caused by basically having to many shot variations available (nice problem to have if you have it mind!) then having a brain fart when it comes time to hit a shot that I can reproduce 99% of the time perfectly well. The system i'm following tells me what to hit (not that hard to follow really - in the back corner hit it down the wall, in the front corner play a straight drop 99% of the time... let the other bozo hit the cross courts n show off shots). According to the rating list I'd be considered 'expert/professional' level regarding shotmaking n we are apparently over enamoured with playing fancy shots. It is true too. I sometimes go for the hollywood shot just cuz i CAN not cuz it is the right shot to play. Brain dead. i seem to be doing more running (no bad thing) but making far fewer errors so its working for me so far.
Oh yeah
I GOT A TROPHY ner ne ner ne nerr nerrrr (heh when I originally typed that i wrote 'atrophy' then thought well DERR everyone gets older) I won the Panthers Squash Club B grade club championship final AND the veterans plate event (first of the losers I call it). I rule B grade. I progress t oA grade next year where all plans working nicely I should scare shit out of a few folks. I'm back on my diet AND my phentermine tablets (100% pure amphetemine WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO) so I'm hoping the weight comes off in lumps cuz Ive got the racket skills back where I want them now, I'm moving about pretty well fer a fat lard arsed 110kg lump so losing the 40 odd kilos will do wonders for my speed n well being.
Looks like the intermittent starting trouble I was having since we changed the starter motor (Rocky DONt start I know I know) has been fixed - a faulty battery terminal of all things. Now to tackle the stupid leaking exhaust when the rain finally stops.
I know most of my readership could care less but...
When oh when are we gonna see something done about foot faults in squash???
I raised the subject some time ago at a club I play at to be told 'oh we dont bother with that!' I said 'so Ive noticed!! If you dont bother with foot faults then can I not worry about serving above the 'high ball' line??' they said 'no of course not thats a service fault!' I said 'so is not having your foot wholey with in the service box when you hit the ball' 'It isnt the same' I said 'if you cant be arsed applying ONE rule you shouldnt bloody complain when someone couldnt be arsed applying another rule should you? I mean... with your serve you get to take the time to GET YOUR DAMN FOOT IN THE BOX! I dont want the high ball line cuz I serve my lob serve within an inch or two of the line n damned air pressure variation can mean the difference between a fair serve and a fault I atleast take the time to get my FOOT right!!! They just didnt get it. It isnt just local club squash either it happens at the British open. Every pro game Ive been able to see on TV or d/led from the innernet shows foot fault mania!! I hate it.
As for that dickhead aussie they are stringing up in Singapore I say good on em. Fucking drug dealers. You go to singapore with drugs you KNOW whats gonna happen if you get caught. So suck shit. Swing ya mongrel. A minute silence for the dog? Never
A minute silence is reserved for the 102000 australian servicemen who gave their lives. not some drug smuggling son of a bitch.
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Thursday, November 17, 2005
driving in victoria (no this isnt pornographic)
Now Mexicans shit me as much as they shit anyone above the border (for the North American reader (s) I'm not talking about people who live south of Texas), Queenslanders included, but actually having to drive amongst them is fraught with danger!
Zero lane discipline
Zero tolerance for people from other states who are unsure where they are going but who signal lane changes with lots of space n time.
The attitude that 'oh?? You wanna change into MY lane you ^&$)($%#^%$^?? You think because you indicated AND there is plenty of room that I will let you in??? Ima speed up into the gap so FUCK YOU arsehole!!!'
I havent been cut off so many times in on YEAR driving in Sydney as I did in one MORNING in Melbourne. Animals...
I havent been tailgated like that in years.
They run red lights (we all know i HATE that)
They think Amber means accelerate. Bastards.
They ALL seem to have massive amounts of trouble watching where they are going AND maintaining control of their vehicle
even Rocky is a better driver than anyone from Victoria. The only people who werent shit were from out of state (NSW or Qld) or like the gurls' father, originally form elsewhere.
Give them a merging lane situation and my god the horror the horror! Rude arrogant obnoxious ill disciplined self centred egotistical maniacs behind the wheel. Steve Bracks (Vic premier) if you want to lower the road toll it isnt speed that is the problem in your state its your full compliment of absolute DICKHEADS allowed to drive. Does anyone actually TEACH these pusillanimous puke inducing morons A how to steer and brake and B defensive driving?
Youve got GREAT roads. You have shit drivers. You should see them in NSW they havent got a CLUE. Id book Vic drivers on principle if i was aa NSW copper on the theory that i KNOW theyve done something really really stupid that really really shit all the other road users in the last 5 minutes or so.
Yep the gurl is home we went n got her on the weekend. Swapmeet at bendigo then down to melbourne to get the gurl.
Like bendigo swap. Wasnt too hot. No dust. No friggin morons. Unlike Ballarat. Lots of dust, too damned hot n every 2nd person a total dickhead. And most of them tanked to the eyeballs.
You know when the Americans get hold of something they cant help but complicate the shit out of it eh.
I just read a book by an american 'squash expert' who managed to take about 100 pages to say 'hit the ball down the walls, drive it deep when you are behind your opponent and hit short when youre in front'AND made it sound like 'his' 'strategy' for winning squash was the something he thought up all by himself. I just reduced it to one sentence mate. HE covered it up with all sorts of technical sounding bullshit and interestign circular arguments. He also seemed to be operating under the assumption that your opponent would graciously hit the ball BACK to you all the time in the middle of the court. Let calls and strokes dont seem to exist in his world either. But hey Ima try it n see. Strange idea eh... I always thought you hit it as far away from your opponent as possible. anyhoo...
Zero lane discipline
Zero tolerance for people from other states who are unsure where they are going but who signal lane changes with lots of space n time.
The attitude that 'oh?? You wanna change into MY lane you ^&$)($%#^%$^?? You think because you indicated AND there is plenty of room that I will let you in??? Ima speed up into the gap so FUCK YOU arsehole!!!'
I havent been cut off so many times in on YEAR driving in Sydney as I did in one MORNING in Melbourne. Animals...
I havent been tailgated like that in years.
They run red lights (we all know i HATE that)
They think Amber means accelerate. Bastards.
They ALL seem to have massive amounts of trouble watching where they are going AND maintaining control of their vehicle
even Rocky is a better driver than anyone from Victoria. The only people who werent shit were from out of state (NSW or Qld) or like the gurls' father, originally form elsewhere.
Give them a merging lane situation and my god the horror the horror! Rude arrogant obnoxious ill disciplined self centred egotistical maniacs behind the wheel. Steve Bracks (Vic premier) if you want to lower the road toll it isnt speed that is the problem in your state its your full compliment of absolute DICKHEADS allowed to drive. Does anyone actually TEACH these pusillanimous puke inducing morons A how to steer and brake and B defensive driving?
Youve got GREAT roads. You have shit drivers. You should see them in NSW they havent got a CLUE. Id book Vic drivers on principle if i was aa NSW copper on the theory that i KNOW theyve done something really really stupid that really really shit all the other road users in the last 5 minutes or so.
Yep the gurl is home we went n got her on the weekend. Swapmeet at bendigo then down to melbourne to get the gurl.
Like bendigo swap. Wasnt too hot. No dust. No friggin morons. Unlike Ballarat. Lots of dust, too damned hot n every 2nd person a total dickhead. And most of them tanked to the eyeballs.
You know when the Americans get hold of something they cant help but complicate the shit out of it eh.
I just read a book by an american 'squash expert' who managed to take about 100 pages to say 'hit the ball down the walls, drive it deep when you are behind your opponent and hit short when youre in front'AND made it sound like 'his' 'strategy' for winning squash was the something he thought up all by himself. I just reduced it to one sentence mate. HE covered it up with all sorts of technical sounding bullshit and interestign circular arguments. He also seemed to be operating under the assumption that your opponent would graciously hit the ball BACK to you all the time in the middle of the court. Let calls and strokes dont seem to exist in his world either. But hey Ima try it n see. Strange idea eh... I always thought you hit it as far away from your opponent as possible. anyhoo...
Saturday, November 05, 2005
oh yeah Nerdism
I think I admitted to nerdish tendencies a couple of blogs ago.
I think this was reinforced to myself when I discovered 2 Star Trek next gen DVDs in the bottom of my book bag when I got home from the local library the other day.
God theyre funny when you watch 7 episodes back to back. The scripts written by 6yos!
The wooden stultifying acting!
That stupid psychic character (chick with dark hair n big tits... ever notice that Gene rodenberry MUST have been a tit man? THere isnt one woman in any show he had anything to do with that isnt a booby monster) my god if thats the best insight being 'sensitive' gives you then GIVE IT UP GIRL!!!
character storms off the bridge in an obvious snit n the stupid woman wanders in n says 'i sensed you are angry and upset' ROFL was it the smashed doors? the 3 dead crewmembers? the cat running for its life? or that the 'upset' one declared war on the Romulans?? what was it that allowed you to work it out? Just a feeling you got eh? Bloody valuable this empathy shit eh?
The thing thats always bugged shite outa me was at the start during the credits you see the ship sorta spooling up to go into warp drive. You know - the tail pipes start to glow n you hear a sort of rvving/winding up sound that is supposed to tell you its gonna launch into the distance. All well n good though in space if they cant hear you scream why does Star Trek assume you can hear the engines from outside? anyhoo my beef is this - when it actually GOES it stretches out towards the direction it is pointed then woosh its gone. I reckon it should compress on itself not stretch. The drive comes from the rear right. Thats the actual first bit that starts to accelerate so it should logically compress not stretch. Inertia being what it is the front should tend to want to accelerate 'after' the rear does. Thats even assuming there was enough friction to make a meaningful effect. Shouldnt ever stretch though - thatd be expected going into a black hole or a worm hole i think.
lol
Cant wait fer rockape to comment on this.
The medical dialogue wouldnt have impressed a monkey in the last one i watched!
They SCARED a virus out of someone! Damn
what a leap forward! call the bird flu people!
Gimme Stargate SG1 any day.
I think this was reinforced to myself when I discovered 2 Star Trek next gen DVDs in the bottom of my book bag when I got home from the local library the other day.
God theyre funny when you watch 7 episodes back to back. The scripts written by 6yos!
The wooden stultifying acting!
That stupid psychic character (chick with dark hair n big tits... ever notice that Gene rodenberry MUST have been a tit man? THere isnt one woman in any show he had anything to do with that isnt a booby monster) my god if thats the best insight being 'sensitive' gives you then GIVE IT UP GIRL!!!
character storms off the bridge in an obvious snit n the stupid woman wanders in n says 'i sensed you are angry and upset' ROFL was it the smashed doors? the 3 dead crewmembers? the cat running for its life? or that the 'upset' one declared war on the Romulans?? what was it that allowed you to work it out? Just a feeling you got eh? Bloody valuable this empathy shit eh?
The thing thats always bugged shite outa me was at the start during the credits you see the ship sorta spooling up to go into warp drive. You know - the tail pipes start to glow n you hear a sort of rvving/winding up sound that is supposed to tell you its gonna launch into the distance. All well n good though in space if they cant hear you scream why does Star Trek assume you can hear the engines from outside? anyhoo my beef is this - when it actually GOES it stretches out towards the direction it is pointed then woosh its gone. I reckon it should compress on itself not stretch. The drive comes from the rear right. Thats the actual first bit that starts to accelerate so it should logically compress not stretch. Inertia being what it is the front should tend to want to accelerate 'after' the rear does. Thats even assuming there was enough friction to make a meaningful effect. Shouldnt ever stretch though - thatd be expected going into a black hole or a worm hole i think.
lol
Cant wait fer rockape to comment on this.
The medical dialogue wouldnt have impressed a monkey in the last one i watched!
They SCARED a virus out of someone! Damn
what a leap forward! call the bird flu people!
Gimme Stargate SG1 any day.
hmmm spooky
Just DAYS after I rant about stupid documentaries, mentioning the sublimely gorgeous Dr Bettany Hughes as an exception guess what is on the ABfrigginC this afternoon? Her doco on The Spartans! As I had no TV guide for this week I didnt know it was on!
Wonderful.
Firstly SHE does all the voice-over and in front of camera work, secondly EVERY sentence has fresh information in it. In other words she doesnt spend half the show rehashing SHIT mentioned 60 times before. You snooze you lose. And she actually A knows what she is talking about n B sounds like she loves it. I think there is barely a wasted minute in her doco. Maybe the horseriding scene right at the end - though she both looks good as you can think on a horse AND she was segueing into next weeks' installment which will no doubt mention Spartan women and their propensity for raising horses. So it was kinda appropriate anyway AND very 'in'. Students would get it. This is a show for people into the topic who will likely never get the chance to actually GO there as the visuals are fantastic.
*sigh* She isnt hard on the eyes either *grin*
Ive just read what would HAVE to qualify as the worst edited novels I have EVER held in my hands. Each one has at least 4 spelling errors on EACH page. Each page has contextual spelling errors too. Thats what I call it when they spell the word correctly but it is clearly (from the context) the wrong word eg 'I decided I was being taled (instead of 'tailed' - followed)' simple shit. An obviously illiterate editor. Some of the mistakes look/feel like a dumb shit editor thinking the writer fucked up when he really didnt and hence making changes unneeded by the context. WEird. Two in a row. The first one was from a bloke who has English as a first language. I suspect the second one has it too.
Wonderful.
Firstly SHE does all the voice-over and in front of camera work, secondly EVERY sentence has fresh information in it. In other words she doesnt spend half the show rehashing SHIT mentioned 60 times before. You snooze you lose. And she actually A knows what she is talking about n B sounds like she loves it. I think there is barely a wasted minute in her doco. Maybe the horseriding scene right at the end - though she both looks good as you can think on a horse AND she was segueing into next weeks' installment which will no doubt mention Spartan women and their propensity for raising horses. So it was kinda appropriate anyway AND very 'in'. Students would get it. This is a show for people into the topic who will likely never get the chance to actually GO there as the visuals are fantastic.
*sigh* She isnt hard on the eyes either *grin*
Ive just read what would HAVE to qualify as the worst edited novels I have EVER held in my hands. Each one has at least 4 spelling errors on EACH page. Each page has contextual spelling errors too. Thats what I call it when they spell the word correctly but it is clearly (from the context) the wrong word eg 'I decided I was being taled (instead of 'tailed' - followed)' simple shit. An obviously illiterate editor. Some of the mistakes look/feel like a dumb shit editor thinking the writer fucked up when he really didnt and hence making changes unneeded by the context. WEird. Two in a row. The first one was from a bloke who has English as a first language. I suspect the second one has it too.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
some bs aboutTV
Saw something on tv about 'Friends' yeah the tv show. This got me to thinking.
See I never ever saw an episode of Friends that I thought was worth more than half a chuckle. I admit I wasnt a watcher of the show - I reckon if the adverts are that unhilarious there is probably no point watching it. Sometimes though there was nothing else on n we wanted to watch what was on after.
So heres my take on tv shows (the ones I can remember)
Friends: rather pointless, inane characters, most of the time simply not funny. A show that portrays New Yorkers as neurotic morons.
EVERY fix these dickheads get themselves into could be solved by 99% of the population by - heres a tip - ACTING LIKE ADULTS. Not even sensible MATURE adults - just adults will do. David Schwimmers character a palaeontologist? GIVE ME A BREAK! his character couldnt FIND the exam room OR get there on time. Who decided Jennifer Anniston could A act n B was a comedienne? Who decided that 'hair style' was wonderful? Looks like she just brushes it each morning girls - I wouldnt go spending money on the look. Who decided the what I call the 'What am I? chopped liver?' line (and varients) was A funny n B repeatable ad nauseam? Proof that if they spend enough money flogging it people will indeed eat shit n grin like its steak. Overpaid, over acted crap.
Seinfeld: the show about nothing did exactly that to me for god knows how long its tedium ran. A show that portrays New Yorkers as neurotic morons. ALL of them. There didnt appear to be ONE sane individual in the show. The best bits were JS monologues starting n ending the boring middle. A show that showed adults getting into stupid situations by taking the DUMB option every time (see Friends). Overpaid overacted crap.
Two and a half men: AHHHHH now this I like. Men acting like men, one a ladies man n one a bit of a shy boy. With the kid PERFECT. Well scripted, well (not OVER) acted. Everyone has met these people at some time (unlike the above shows).
Frasier: SImply fail to see the appeal of two psychiatrists acting like deranged children for eight years. Who would EVER go see either of them for therapy? They should be locked up themselves!
Everyone loves Raymond: Ok there are some genuinely funny moments in this one. The mum is a distilled version of my mum, n who wouldnt feel sorry for Deborah? A show which portrays New Yorkers as neurotic morons.
My Wife and Kids: I like this one. Ive liked damon wayans since he played that marine in a funny as hell movie. God knows the wife is annoying though.
Law & Order (various): Some of the story lines are getting repetitive (in the 'have we seen this b4??' mold) I love Eames from crim intent. Liked the old bloke who just died. Was always concerned that the cops never seemed to do enough detecting b4 handing it off. This latest one trial by jury , is weak as piss. The two female leads sit looking like stunned mullets when the defence outplays them. Ida thought youd expect that sometimes. They arent convincing characters -whereas some of the other female lawyers have been very strong.
CSI: I watch it n enjoy it. Not cuz 'forensics is trendy' cuz I read Professor Keith SImpsons' 40 Years Of Murder when I was 12 - If you havent heard of him go google. I like it cuz I like picking holes in their procedure - I reckon I could spring 95% of their suspects if I was a defence lawyer. They have great little mysteries each week in Vegas, but they insist on moving shit BEFORE they photograph it. They traipse about with their lovely long hair uncovered n street clothes n shoes dancing through the scenes dragging in trace evidence and contamination everywhere. Bogus folks tres bogus. N I HATE that red headed *pause n look intent* guy in Miami *stare knowingly at camera, take off sunglasses authoritatively* Over actors THIS way please. Gary Scinise in NY is great. The other thing that grates is how they treat their forensic pathologist. They are medical doctors with a further specialty, talking about 10-12 years at university, treated like barely trained chimps by the csis. N they way they treat 'greg' is appalling - HE does all the real work! shame shame shame.
heh
Blue Heelers: Aussie cop show set in rural Victoria. Bout time it died a natural death. Its a good show -well acted n scripted etc but shit guys the town it is set in is crime central! forget policing levels in the city!! GET all the cops to Mt Thomas ASAP! I lived in a town that size. TWO cops - not 6 or 8 - TWO.
Big Brother: I call it Dont bother. As Ive said elsewhere here, If I want to watch people living life I will stick my head out the door of my computer room n look into the rest of my house. Or visit a friend with children. ANYTHING rather than watch that god awful show. I cannot BELIEVE they CHARGE you for the dubious privilege of voting for or against people (whichever way it works). it is SPONSORED by a telco. Shameful. they egg you on to vote for your one as many times as you like via the OF COURSE more expensive sms. N the dopey shit moron teenagers lap it up just LAP it up. Here SCREW ME TOO!!! Just GIVE them all your money n sign your life away ya friggin idiots. These people have the right to make decisions about the country and in some cases, another human life. Frightening. Simply frightening.
Australian Idol: god no not MORE warbling starlings (budgies at least are cute and chirp in tune). N how those gibbering idiots they have fronting the show got let out I do not wanna know. You know what REALLY tears my tits ? That stupid 'touch down ' shite. Taken DIRECTLY from the American original. Fellas... we dont actually HAVE touch downs here (ok ok sit down i know there is a small group of weirdos who actually do play grid iron here so technically we DO ... somewhere) . What is wrong with 'TRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!' covers rugbys league and union, 'GOAL!!!!' covers wogball, aerial ping pong (aussie rules) and netball, or even 'HOWZAT?????' from cricket. Nah nah just dumb it the hell down.
Spicks and Specks: possibly my favourite show. funny and informative without being condescending or trite. The host hosts, he doesnt try to make it all about him. Lets the guests be guests, have a good time etc. Love Hamish Blake ( one of the guests) that is one seriously funny bloke.
Kath n Kim: another supposedly funny show thats only raved about by the pseudo intelligentsia because it comes from the ABfrigginC so you have to ramp it up dont ya. They like it cuz it pokes loads of seriously lame fun at poor people. I havent seen a single actually funny moment on it. There is much much cleverer comedy out there.
Inspector Rex: ahh the dog. I love rex. Its just a nice show. sure theres the odd bit of gunplay sometimes. But the good guys always win. The dog acts like he isnt acting (you TRY catching him taking directions from off camera - I reckon Ive caught him at it once MAYBE). Mosers gf is a BABE n deliciously in a non blonde blue eyed aryan way. I dont care they repeat it all the time.
The Shield: Good cop show. Ya love n hate the bald bloke at the same time. great scripting.
The Closer: I was prepared to hate this one based on the craptacular way they edited the adverts for it. But it is actually rather enjoyable to watch. In the adverts she seemed a rather irritable character but it makes sense when you watch it. I'd be shitty too heh.
That 70s show: took a while for me to get into but once I did I think its great. I like sitcoms where if the players say something actually funny (like -youd laugh if it was said in your loungeroom by one of your mates) they actually laugh at it in the show too. It is just natural. Other shows mentioned here they all stand/sit/lay about looking like the rods up their spines got rods up their spines waiting for the laugh track so they could relax. Topher Grace is brilliant. Have to be with a name like that eh. I'd almost beg the redhead to say hello to me (forget sex - just acknowledge my existence damn you!) N the south american character is priceless.
Its like, you know: Another funny show i think IF youve been to LA n spent time with locals. Otherwise I am not sure it translates. Funny shit IF you get the joke though.
dah dahhhhhhhhhh
The Simpsons: simply consistently the best tv show EVER made. You know its good when you quote THEIR parody of the original instead of the original (I speak of course of Rainer Wolfcastle). Even Itchy and Scratchy is brilliant. They consistently write good little songs (when is there gonna be an album of actual songs from the show eg 'Baby On Board' ,'Who Needs The Quicky Mart' etc not that crap they put out that was remixes of top 40 shit). the show works for kids, it works for adults, Americans laugh at different things to Australians (I assume that holds for whereever you live it is just Ive observed the American/Australian thing first hand), both find common things funny too. I suspect we laugh at things we think the yanks do thats weird, n there are jokes Americans get that we dont (cultural stuff we dont have).
I love it. I have never understood why they consider the simpsons 'disfunctional'. Mum n dad love each other. They both love their kids. The kids are like kids everywhere. Maggie is delightful. I cant see david hasselhoff (yeah hes been out here lately floggin shit) without hearing a young Lisa saying davi hassahof cracks me up. whenever theres a cop show on i say to the gurl 'they need Night Boat the CRIME solving boat' if they wanna crack this. N she invariably points out the land locked nature of the particular show involved. I think there is a Simpsons moment for EVERYTHING that happens in your day. Brilliant.
yeah yeah
theres other shows .
Like i LOVE that channel ten does a show on the Australian Rally Championship but hate that the show seems to spend MORE time showing us some commentators face than it shows us cars travelling sideways. Do it like the people who do the WRC shows - voice over guys VOICEOVER! The WRC show is either cars flying, or drivers being interviewed. Never see the person asking the questions or giving info. Unlike Channel Tens' ARC show. The show isnt about YOU Mr Rust, Mr Wood & Mr Diffey.
N Bill Woods you should give up if you cant tell the difference between a tyre rubbing on a guard and an oil leaking cooking off during a touring car race. Youve been doing it for TEN years now fer chrissake. Still dont seem to have much grasp of what is actually happening on the track.
I thank you.
See I never ever saw an episode of Friends that I thought was worth more than half a chuckle. I admit I wasnt a watcher of the show - I reckon if the adverts are that unhilarious there is probably no point watching it. Sometimes though there was nothing else on n we wanted to watch what was on after.
So heres my take on tv shows (the ones I can remember)
Friends: rather pointless, inane characters, most of the time simply not funny. A show that portrays New Yorkers as neurotic morons.
EVERY fix these dickheads get themselves into could be solved by 99% of the population by - heres a tip - ACTING LIKE ADULTS. Not even sensible MATURE adults - just adults will do. David Schwimmers character a palaeontologist? GIVE ME A BREAK! his character couldnt FIND the exam room OR get there on time. Who decided Jennifer Anniston could A act n B was a comedienne? Who decided that 'hair style' was wonderful? Looks like she just brushes it each morning girls - I wouldnt go spending money on the look. Who decided the what I call the 'What am I? chopped liver?' line (and varients) was A funny n B repeatable ad nauseam? Proof that if they spend enough money flogging it people will indeed eat shit n grin like its steak. Overpaid, over acted crap.
Seinfeld: the show about nothing did exactly that to me for god knows how long its tedium ran. A show that portrays New Yorkers as neurotic morons. ALL of them. There didnt appear to be ONE sane individual in the show. The best bits were JS monologues starting n ending the boring middle. A show that showed adults getting into stupid situations by taking the DUMB option every time (see Friends). Overpaid overacted crap.
Two and a half men: AHHHHH now this I like. Men acting like men, one a ladies man n one a bit of a shy boy. With the kid PERFECT. Well scripted, well (not OVER) acted. Everyone has met these people at some time (unlike the above shows).
Frasier: SImply fail to see the appeal of two psychiatrists acting like deranged children for eight years. Who would EVER go see either of them for therapy? They should be locked up themselves!
Everyone loves Raymond: Ok there are some genuinely funny moments in this one. The mum is a distilled version of my mum, n who wouldnt feel sorry for Deborah? A show which portrays New Yorkers as neurotic morons.
My Wife and Kids: I like this one. Ive liked damon wayans since he played that marine in a funny as hell movie. God knows the wife is annoying though.
Law & Order (various): Some of the story lines are getting repetitive (in the 'have we seen this b4??' mold) I love Eames from crim intent. Liked the old bloke who just died. Was always concerned that the cops never seemed to do enough detecting b4 handing it off. This latest one trial by jury , is weak as piss. The two female leads sit looking like stunned mullets when the defence outplays them. Ida thought youd expect that sometimes. They arent convincing characters -whereas some of the other female lawyers have been very strong.
CSI: I watch it n enjoy it. Not cuz 'forensics is trendy' cuz I read Professor Keith SImpsons' 40 Years Of Murder when I was 12 - If you havent heard of him go google. I like it cuz I like picking holes in their procedure - I reckon I could spring 95% of their suspects if I was a defence lawyer. They have great little mysteries each week in Vegas, but they insist on moving shit BEFORE they photograph it. They traipse about with their lovely long hair uncovered n street clothes n shoes dancing through the scenes dragging in trace evidence and contamination everywhere. Bogus folks tres bogus. N I HATE that red headed *pause n look intent* guy in Miami *stare knowingly at camera, take off sunglasses authoritatively* Over actors THIS way please. Gary Scinise in NY is great. The other thing that grates is how they treat their forensic pathologist. They are medical doctors with a further specialty, talking about 10-12 years at university, treated like barely trained chimps by the csis. N they way they treat 'greg' is appalling - HE does all the real work! shame shame shame.
heh
Blue Heelers: Aussie cop show set in rural Victoria. Bout time it died a natural death. Its a good show -well acted n scripted etc but shit guys the town it is set in is crime central! forget policing levels in the city!! GET all the cops to Mt Thomas ASAP! I lived in a town that size. TWO cops - not 6 or 8 - TWO.
Big Brother: I call it Dont bother. As Ive said elsewhere here, If I want to watch people living life I will stick my head out the door of my computer room n look into the rest of my house. Or visit a friend with children. ANYTHING rather than watch that god awful show. I cannot BELIEVE they CHARGE you for the dubious privilege of voting for or against people (whichever way it works). it is SPONSORED by a telco. Shameful. they egg you on to vote for your one as many times as you like via the OF COURSE more expensive sms. N the dopey shit moron teenagers lap it up just LAP it up. Here SCREW ME TOO!!! Just GIVE them all your money n sign your life away ya friggin idiots. These people have the right to make decisions about the country and in some cases, another human life. Frightening. Simply frightening.
Australian Idol: god no not MORE warbling starlings (budgies at least are cute and chirp in tune). N how those gibbering idiots they have fronting the show got let out I do not wanna know. You know what REALLY tears my tits ? That stupid 'touch down ' shite. Taken DIRECTLY from the American original. Fellas... we dont actually HAVE touch downs here (ok ok sit down i know there is a small group of weirdos who actually do play grid iron here so technically we DO ... somewhere) . What is wrong with 'TRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!' covers rugbys league and union, 'GOAL!!!!' covers wogball, aerial ping pong (aussie rules) and netball, or even 'HOWZAT?????' from cricket. Nah nah just dumb it the hell down.
Spicks and Specks: possibly my favourite show. funny and informative without being condescending or trite. The host hosts, he doesnt try to make it all about him. Lets the guests be guests, have a good time etc. Love Hamish Blake ( one of the guests) that is one seriously funny bloke.
Kath n Kim: another supposedly funny show thats only raved about by the pseudo intelligentsia because it comes from the ABfrigginC so you have to ramp it up dont ya. They like it cuz it pokes loads of seriously lame fun at poor people. I havent seen a single actually funny moment on it. There is much much cleverer comedy out there.
Inspector Rex: ahh the dog. I love rex. Its just a nice show. sure theres the odd bit of gunplay sometimes. But the good guys always win. The dog acts like he isnt acting (you TRY catching him taking directions from off camera - I reckon Ive caught him at it once MAYBE). Mosers gf is a BABE n deliciously in a non blonde blue eyed aryan way. I dont care they repeat it all the time.
The Shield: Good cop show. Ya love n hate the bald bloke at the same time. great scripting.
The Closer: I was prepared to hate this one based on the craptacular way they edited the adverts for it. But it is actually rather enjoyable to watch. In the adverts she seemed a rather irritable character but it makes sense when you watch it. I'd be shitty too heh.
That 70s show: took a while for me to get into but once I did I think its great. I like sitcoms where if the players say something actually funny (like -youd laugh if it was said in your loungeroom by one of your mates) they actually laugh at it in the show too. It is just natural. Other shows mentioned here they all stand/sit/lay about looking like the rods up their spines got rods up their spines waiting for the laugh track so they could relax. Topher Grace is brilliant. Have to be with a name like that eh. I'd almost beg the redhead to say hello to me (forget sex - just acknowledge my existence damn you!) N the south american character is priceless.
Its like, you know: Another funny show i think IF youve been to LA n spent time with locals. Otherwise I am not sure it translates. Funny shit IF you get the joke though.
dah dahhhhhhhhhh
The Simpsons: simply consistently the best tv show EVER made. You know its good when you quote THEIR parody of the original instead of the original (I speak of course of Rainer Wolfcastle). Even Itchy and Scratchy is brilliant. They consistently write good little songs (when is there gonna be an album of actual songs from the show eg 'Baby On Board' ,'Who Needs The Quicky Mart' etc not that crap they put out that was remixes of top 40 shit). the show works for kids, it works for adults, Americans laugh at different things to Australians (I assume that holds for whereever you live it is just Ive observed the American/Australian thing first hand), both find common things funny too. I suspect we laugh at things we think the yanks do thats weird, n there are jokes Americans get that we dont (cultural stuff we dont have).
I love it. I have never understood why they consider the simpsons 'disfunctional'. Mum n dad love each other. They both love their kids. The kids are like kids everywhere. Maggie is delightful. I cant see david hasselhoff (yeah hes been out here lately floggin shit) without hearing a young Lisa saying davi hassahof cracks me up. whenever theres a cop show on i say to the gurl 'they need Night Boat the CRIME solving boat' if they wanna crack this. N she invariably points out the land locked nature of the particular show involved. I think there is a Simpsons moment for EVERYTHING that happens in your day. Brilliant.
yeah yeah
theres other shows .
Like i LOVE that channel ten does a show on the Australian Rally Championship but hate that the show seems to spend MORE time showing us some commentators face than it shows us cars travelling sideways. Do it like the people who do the WRC shows - voice over guys VOICEOVER! The WRC show is either cars flying, or drivers being interviewed. Never see the person asking the questions or giving info. Unlike Channel Tens' ARC show. The show isnt about YOU Mr Rust, Mr Wood & Mr Diffey.
N Bill Woods you should give up if you cant tell the difference between a tyre rubbing on a guard and an oil leaking cooking off during a touring car race. Youve been doing it for TEN years now fer chrissake. Still dont seem to have much grasp of what is actually happening on the track.
I thank you.
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