some bs aboutTV

Saw something on tv about 'Friends' yeah the tv show. This got me to thinking.
See I never ever saw an episode of Friends that I thought was worth more than half a chuckle. I admit I wasnt a watcher of the show - I reckon if the adverts are that unhilarious there is probably no point watching it. Sometimes though there was nothing else on n we wanted to watch what was on after.

So heres my take on tv shows (the ones I can remember)

Friends: rather pointless, inane characters, most of the time simply not funny. A show that portrays New Yorkers as neurotic morons.
EVERY fix these dickheads get themselves into could be solved by 99% of the population by - heres a tip - ACTING LIKE ADULTS. Not even sensible MATURE adults - just adults will do. David Schwimmers character a palaeontologist? GIVE ME A BREAK! his character couldnt FIND the exam room OR get there on time. Who decided Jennifer Anniston could A act n B was a comedienne? Who decided that 'hair style' was wonderful? Looks like she just brushes it each morning girls - I wouldnt go spending money on the look. Who decided the what I call the 'What am I? chopped liver?' line (and varients) was A funny n B repeatable ad nauseam? Proof that if they spend enough money flogging it people will indeed eat shit n grin like its steak. Overpaid, over acted crap.

Seinfeld: the show about nothing did exactly that to me for god knows how long its tedium ran. A show that portrays New Yorkers as neurotic morons. ALL of them. There didnt appear to be ONE sane individual in the show. The best bits were JS monologues starting n ending the boring middle. A show that showed adults getting into stupid situations by taking the DUMB option every time (see Friends). Overpaid overacted crap.

Two and a half men: AHHHHH now this I like. Men acting like men, one a ladies man n one a bit of a shy boy. With the kid PERFECT. Well scripted, well (not OVER) acted. Everyone has met these people at some time (unlike the above shows).

Frasier: SImply fail to see the appeal of two psychiatrists acting like deranged children for eight years. Who would EVER go see either of them for therapy? They should be locked up themselves!

Everyone loves Raymond: Ok there are some genuinely funny moments in this one. The mum is a distilled version of my mum, n who wouldnt feel sorry for Deborah? A show which portrays New Yorkers as neurotic morons.

My Wife and Kids: I like this one. Ive liked damon wayans since he played that marine in a funny as hell movie. God knows the wife is annoying though.

Law & Order (various): Some of the story lines are getting repetitive (in the 'have we seen this b4??' mold) I love Eames from crim intent. Liked the old bloke who just died. Was always concerned that the cops never seemed to do enough detecting b4 handing it off. This latest one trial by jury , is weak as piss. The two female leads sit looking like stunned mullets when the defence outplays them. Ida thought youd expect that sometimes. They arent convincing characters -whereas some of the other female lawyers have been very strong.

CSI: I watch it n enjoy it. Not cuz 'forensics is trendy' cuz I read Professor Keith SImpsons' 40 Years Of Murder when I was 12 - If you havent heard of him go google. I like it cuz I like picking holes in their procedure - I reckon I could spring 95% of their suspects if I was a defence lawyer. They have great little mysteries each week in Vegas, but they insist on moving shit BEFORE they photograph it. They traipse about with their lovely long hair uncovered n street clothes n shoes dancing through the scenes dragging in trace evidence and contamination everywhere. Bogus folks tres bogus. N I HATE that red headed *pause n look intent* guy in Miami *stare knowingly at camera, take off sunglasses authoritatively* Over actors THIS way please. Gary Scinise in NY is great. The other thing that grates is how they treat their forensic pathologist. They are medical doctors with a further specialty, talking about 10-12 years at university, treated like barely trained chimps by the csis. N they way they treat 'greg' is appalling - HE does all the real work! shame shame shame.

heh

Blue Heelers: Aussie cop show set in rural Victoria. Bout time it died a natural death. Its a good show -well acted n scripted etc but shit guys the town it is set in is crime central! forget policing levels in the city!! GET all the cops to Mt Thomas ASAP! I lived in a town that size. TWO cops - not 6 or 8 - TWO.

Big Brother: I call it Dont bother. As Ive said elsewhere here, If I want to watch people living life I will stick my head out the door of my computer room n look into the rest of my house. Or visit a friend with children. ANYTHING rather than watch that god awful show. I cannot BELIEVE they CHARGE you for the dubious privilege of voting for or against people (whichever way it works). it is SPONSORED by a telco. Shameful. they egg you on to vote for your one as many times as you like via the OF COURSE more expensive sms. N the dopey shit moron teenagers lap it up just LAP it up. Here SCREW ME TOO!!! Just GIVE them all your money n sign your life away ya friggin idiots. These people have the right to make decisions about the country and in some cases, another human life. Frightening. Simply frightening.

Australian Idol: god no not MORE warbling starlings (budgies at least are cute and chirp in tune). N how those gibbering idiots they have fronting the show got let out I do not wanna know. You know what REALLY tears my tits ? That stupid 'touch down ' shite. Taken DIRECTLY from the American original. Fellas... we dont actually HAVE touch downs here (ok ok sit down i know there is a small group of weirdos who actually do play grid iron here so technically we DO ... somewhere) . What is wrong with 'TRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!' covers rugbys league and union, 'GOAL!!!!' covers wogball, aerial ping pong (aussie rules) and netball, or even 'HOWZAT?????' from cricket. Nah nah just dumb it the hell down.

Spicks and Specks: possibly my favourite show. funny and informative without being condescending or trite. The host hosts, he doesnt try to make it all about him. Lets the guests be guests, have a good time etc. Love Hamish Blake ( one of the guests) that is one seriously funny bloke.

Kath n Kim: another supposedly funny show thats only raved about by the pseudo intelligentsia because it comes from the ABfrigginC so you have to ramp it up dont ya. They like it cuz it pokes loads of seriously lame fun at poor people. I havent seen a single actually funny moment on it. There is much much cleverer comedy out there.

Inspector Rex: ahh the dog. I love rex. Its just a nice show. sure theres the odd bit of gunplay sometimes. But the good guys always win. The dog acts like he isnt acting (you TRY catching him taking directions from off camera - I reckon Ive caught him at it once MAYBE). Mosers gf is a BABE n deliciously in a non blonde blue eyed aryan way. I dont care they repeat it all the time.

The Shield: Good cop show. Ya love n hate the bald bloke at the same time. great scripting.

The Closer: I was prepared to hate this one based on the craptacular way they edited the adverts for it. But it is actually rather enjoyable to watch. In the adverts she seemed a rather irritable character but it makes sense when you watch it. I'd be shitty too heh.

That 70s show: took a while for me to get into but once I did I think its great. I like sitcoms where if the players say something actually funny (like -youd laugh if it was said in your loungeroom by one of your mates) they actually laugh at it in the show too. It is just natural. Other shows mentioned here they all stand/sit/lay about looking like the rods up their spines got rods up their spines waiting for the laugh track so they could relax. Topher Grace is brilliant. Have to be with a name like that eh. I'd almost beg the redhead to say hello to me (forget sex - just acknowledge my existence damn you!) N the south american character is priceless.

Its like, you know: Another funny show i think IF youve been to LA n spent time with locals. Otherwise I am not sure it translates. Funny shit IF you get the joke though.

dah dahhhhhhhhhh
The Simpsons: simply consistently the best tv show EVER made. You know its good when you quote THEIR parody of the original instead of the original (I speak of course of Rainer Wolfcastle). Even Itchy and Scratchy is brilliant. They consistently write good little songs (when is there gonna be an album of actual songs from the show eg 'Baby On Board' ,'Who Needs The Quicky Mart' etc not that crap they put out that was remixes of top 40 shit). the show works for kids, it works for adults, Americans laugh at different things to Australians (I assume that holds for whereever you live it is just Ive observed the American/Australian thing first hand), both find common things funny too. I suspect we laugh at things we think the yanks do thats weird, n there are jokes Americans get that we dont (cultural stuff we dont have).
I love it. I have never understood why they consider the simpsons 'disfunctional'. Mum n dad love each other. They both love their kids. The kids are like kids everywhere. Maggie is delightful. I cant see david hasselhoff (yeah hes been out here lately floggin shit) without hearing a young Lisa saying davi hassahof cracks me up. whenever theres a cop show on i say to the gurl 'they need Night Boat the CRIME solving boat' if they wanna crack this. N she invariably points out the land locked nature of the particular show involved. I think there is a Simpsons moment for EVERYTHING that happens in your day. Brilliant.

yeah yeah

theres other shows .

Like i LOVE that channel ten does a show on the Australian Rally Championship but hate that the show seems to spend MORE time showing us some commentators face than it shows us cars travelling sideways. Do it like the people who do the WRC shows - voice over guys VOICEOVER! The WRC show is either cars flying, or drivers being interviewed. Never see the person asking the questions or giving info. Unlike Channel Tens' ARC show. The show isnt about YOU Mr Rust, Mr Wood & Mr Diffey.

N Bill Woods you should give up if you cant tell the difference between a tyre rubbing on a guard and an oil leaking cooking off during a touring car race. Youve been doing it for TEN years now fer chrissake. Still dont seem to have much grasp of what is actually happening on the track.

I thank you.