quotes

hah shit meself laughing at this....


John Macenroe: "I didnt ever question a single line call like Anna Kournikova is a virgin."

scuse me while i crack up again.


Archaeology...hong kong archaeologist Zhang: "the artifacts unearthed mainly are middle- and large-sized ones, differing from those unearthed in the northern
areas which are mainly small. "
No shit eh there was some big stuff and some small stuff. Well waddya know.

Me yesterday : "get me a couple of lettervelopes please."

Uhuh I actually said 'lettervelopes' Felt like a stupid kid whos mum wrote into bloody No Idea or Womans' bullshit-about-stars weekly.

Rocky (after a BIIIIIIIG night): blonde hair big tits...drool.... *drops catch*

Australian captain Mark Taylor: " our plan is to win the game by scoring more runs than the opposition" (the funny part about this is that this totally tongue in cheek remark was splashed across an Indian newspaper as 'Aussie captains' secret tactic to win test match' ...well...DERRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Yeah I thought it was going somewhere too until I got to this point n it just died.

Ok TV shit time...


Supernatural: cool show. Sucks to be the female company fer those boys. Didnt fuck about with backstory - enough to get you up to speed. Bidda boom biddabam n into the story. love the 65 (?) chevy pillarless. Well its a 65-67 somewhere in there ok ok i know i SHOULD know but its been a BLOODY long time since I saw one or opened a book on them so sue me.

Top Gear: I think i absolutely LOVE this show. Yep I do. It is my current fave. 3 mad pommies thrash the tits off new cars, make guests do a fast lap of their test track n put their time up for ridicule. Anyone who can look straight at the camera n say 'ferraris bore me' has me fer a willing watcher. They bore me to tears too. Never driven one. Dont want to. I like that theyre actually AWARE that the only time Porsche win races is against OTHER porsches. When ever another make gets involved porsche get hosed. Lemans, 1978. Porsche GT cup any year since it became open to other makes. ANY time theres another car on the track in roughly the same classification (i dont expect my peugeot 505 to beat ANY sorta porsche any time soon except for comfort ... n longevity...n reliability...n bootspace (thats 'trunk' to my poor misguided north american readers)...n legroom front AND rear. yeah yeah its a sedan ROFL *choke*.
Oh n I LOVE what they do to caravans...
no they dont like caravans any more than I do. I'd work on this show for free.

south Park: still the sick freaky laugh yer balls off n wait fer cartman to sell them back to ya show its always been. Glad we havent seen any more of Ms Chokesondick though. *shudder*

Inspector Rex: possibly the best cop show on tv. An actual smart cop (the dog) with sidekicks who dont get in the way. Good to see walthers n steyrs n such insteada the steady diet of smith n wessons, colts n armalites you get bored with on american cop shows (beats ours though our lot still play with pissy 38 revolvers on tv).

Brainiac: didnt like this at first cuz i suspected the host was a total twat. Then I saw him on Top Gear n realised he is ALWAYS about half a feather tickle from shitting himself laughing all day n it was alright suddenly. I like the brainiac girls.. i like i like i like i like stop I'll go blind.

Got bored with real fast:

Ghost Whisperer... ok J. Love Hewitt gets hotter every year but once youve seen one sad lonely ghost wanting closure (n generally not even with a juicy murder or two tacked on) then basically youve seen them all. I was bored after 2 episodes.

Blind Justice: yep.. inspector rex without the smart dog or a cop who can see. Once you get past the other cops being pricks theres not a lot to hold me to this show. I lasted 5 episodes.

Awaking The Dead: *YAWN* shit acting. Poor forensics. Scripts so wooden they make movable type seem like 21st century technology. bring back Old Dogs PLEASE its alright its ok....

Cold case: actually never got me - i was bored with her cutesy lil girl got caught in the big bad rain shower hairdo thing after 3 adverts for the show. If I was her boss Ida sacked her for showing up like that the 2nd time it happened. Ergo no show.

Cath & Kim: jaysus wept (irish accent) Ive not sat through more than 30 seconds of ANY episode of this show. WHY do the 'critics' think it takes shit n turns it to gold? Youd think it was the 2nd 3rd and 4TH coming of some sort of messianic figure. Instead it is cheap high school level humour (i use the word loosely) Taking easy shots at people who can't afford anything better. Mockery isnt satire. Mockery just points out how small mined the writers are. Take the piss out of people who deserve it. It is popular with people who need to be told what they should find funny, n where to go to church (the trendier the better), and with all the innercity aids carriers who think that because its on the ABfrigginC it MUST be intellectually superior (cuz that means that THEY are intellectually superior cuz they watch it).

Headland: does ANYONE think universities esist in towns that appear to consist of a pub? Does ANYONE think a small minded spoilt brat pissy princess type squealing that another student is an exotic dancer (NOT a stripper or a thinly disguised hooker) wouldnt be told to shut the fuck up mn mind her own business? The only reason I watch it is cuz its so funny it can reduce one to tears. OK that n cuz HSV seems rather fond of it for some reason. Mebbe cuz you dont have to think too hard.
Wonder when they gonna stop importing stupid american scripts holus bolus without even an attempt at modifying them for australian legal n political n schooling structures?

Solilique:
I actually wonder when australian soapies are gonna have a script that even conforms loosely to what happens when the evil developer wants to rape the 'pristine' coast? Like what ACTUALLY happens is : evelopment application is submitted. Has to actually COMPLY with both council ordinances AND State laws. HAS to be on display for ATLEAST 6 months at council chambers (n NOT way down the bakc of the dungeon where the lights dont work) AND be published in the local newspaper such that a reasonable majority of people who might be affected will see it. THEN respond properly to citizens' concerns. THen if THEY dont FUCKING WANT it it doesnt happen. THEY pay council after all.
NOt as soapies would have you believe... paperwork slipped in other council business n passed without any discussion. Residents only find out when the wreckers come through.... sure.

And in Australia Our state police services arent at the beck n call of the local aldermen. Council doesnt pay the cops. It is one thing you can be reasonably certain of - the cops arent in league with the local wanker who thinks he runs the town.
Ahem... Ive dribbled on again havent I?