sundries (sorta in the cricket sense)

well Ive sorta joined kassis' daughter.
Doctor at the hospital thinks Ive got a broken scaphoid bone in my right wrist (n NO rocky it isnt from wanking - Im LEFT handed remember?) and ive sprained it.
It was either my wrist or my head hit the wall. I chose wrist. Amazing the time you have to make decisions when theres something critical to the outcome. I ran into a wall at squash on monday.
Ok have you all stopped laughing? good cuz it hurts to type ya bastards.
bastard (doc) didnt put it in a cast. why IS that? it HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRTS.

Ok
So the commonfilth games are on.
You may or may not know it but i enjoy the odd game of squash. Agame in which Australia can be reasonably expected to do well in as we have the world number 1 and 2 men, and the world number one woman (n her sister is like number 4). So how much squash did we see????

lemme count to be completely fair....
about 4 minutes (TOTAL) for the women.
the only mens squash i saw was the last 2 points of the MENS FINAL !! Lasted about a minute. To be completely fair mebbe they showed some other mens play. ok call it 3 minutes. So of a WORLD sport played by MILLIONS throughout the commonwealth and hundreds of thousands of people in Australia alone (mebbe a million i know thats the figure they were talking about in the 80s as a participation rate) in other words... FAR more people actually play squash on a weekly or monthly basis than take part in swimming (we got bloody HOURS of swimming days of it which is fine as we generally CLEAN yer clocks for ya regardless of where you are), we got fuggin HOURS of weightlifting. WEIGHTLIFTING!!! 3 seconds of 'action' followed by 5 minutes of people standing around doing FUCK ALL, n when THAT excitement reached fever pitch we transfered to the weightlifters warm up room where EVEN LESS was happening!! Fer FUCK SAKE CHANNEL NINE!!!! THEN we go to the table tennis... woo hoo... oh yeah we can watch a COMPLEAT bloody table tennis game cant we? theres what? 12? 15? people in the entire country who play it competitively?
Then we get the bore your TITS off idiot twaddle from the desk commentators... Heres a tip... dont EVER EVER EVER let some dope from the AFL (fer the rest of yas Australian Football LEague.. that mob of too tall ppl who play that game down south the rest of us call aerial pingpong) commentate on anything that isnt AFL!!!! They WILL introduce AFL into the bloody discussion adnauseam EVEN when theyre interviewing someone from the bloody Cayman Islands. Tip mate.. the rest of the country couldnt GIVE A FUCK, n Im damned sure the rest of the commonwealth doesnt either. Besides which he sounds like a moron. Now those who know me know i cant stand Ray 'rabbit' Warren, channel nine rugby league caller, cuz it ALWAYS seems like he is watching a different bloody game to the rest of us (Id be in sporting heaven if Rabs went to channel seven cuz then he would be with bloody twat bruce macavaney {only the people who run these shows seem to like him - mention him to the people who have to WATCH the twat n theres groans n 'oh HE isnt calling it is he?} n bloody johanna greigs both of whom I cant stand. Now Im sure they are lovely people n i got nothing agin em personally - neither of em ran my dog over etc but im sick of the sight of johanna greigs nmacavaney is another of these victorian based nobs who are totally obsessed with AFL n work it into ANYTHING they are talking about)and then I wouldnt have to watch him cuz now channel seven has the AFL i have NO reason ever to watch their sports broadcasts. So he gets to call the swimming. to his eternal credit not once have I heard him gratuitously introduce rugby league into a call of the swimming. He may have mentioned it once or twice in a 'that happened to me when I called manly V newcastle once' sorta vein which is ok.
But he doesnt bugger on about it every 2 minutes.
EVERY single squash player in this area is pissed off channel nine. We stay up late to watch the squash n get butt FUCKED with a minute here n there. Thanks fer NOTHING. I know fox showed the entire matches etc but most of us cant afford/cant get pay TV. N my gym ISNT OPEN AT 11PM!!!!

*gasp*
pricks
fuggin weightlifting.. big participation sport that.
fuggin table tennis... thrill a day sport there.
bet we see plenty of synchronised stupidity i mean swimming too.
wow shooting see plenty of nobs with shotguns. not sure bout the relevance there folks. N i am not some whack job lefty wanker who thinks all guns should be banned - cuz THEN only the crims will have guns. They are by NATURE law breakers morons - what do they care they get a firearms offence when they are facing 10-15 fer armed robbery eh? but im not sure a sport which practices for shooting poor bloody ducks should still be part of the lineup. Show us the gold medal round n fuck it off.

Now Im tres sad fer the people in Far North Queensland who got smacked in the face by cyclone larry... NNN I know rocky youll have friends n relos suffering n I hope theyre ok.
but
fer FUCK sake ! to those whiney types who blasted both the prime minister and the Qld premier yesterday about 'doing nothing' well I hope YOURE the last people who get helped! shit a brick folks. it happened MONDAY thats 3 days ago! the army is already on the bloody job. Insurance looks like actually being worth the money its printed on. Im not really sure what they expect the Pm n the premier to DO in 2 days! At least they showed up! You cant just like FLICK your fingers n make the ouchey ouchey go away dickheads. What do you want? Unlike the US president Im fairly bloody certain our lot are doing everything they can as FAST as they can. Shit like this isnt instant - and face it you live in the middle of bloody NOWHERE so it takes a while to get in. So stop whining n take a deep breath n think 'thank GOD Im alive'

Look
I have a basic philosophy on life.
It is ok to rail against shit all you want.
Hell give em crap about stuff thats changeable
but there are some things that whinging about it wont change. There are certain immutable laws. Such as relief efforts take time to organise. Planes take time to get there. Even the best organised emergency people take time to get going!
If youve just been in a car crash its no use worrying if your CV is good enough for the job interview you were going to - you have more important things to worry about (remember the basic principle can be applied anywhere).
Dont fucking sweat the shit that is either too big for you to worry about (you cant change it so dont get upset over it) like bushfires n cyclones.
Ive always thought it the height of stupidity to scream if you are in an aeroplane which is gonna crash. Is it gonna help? Doesnt it have SUCH a calming effect on the flight staff allowing them to do their job more efficiently? Thats the job that MIGHT save you fucking useless life ya ssmeghead so shut the fuck up n stop distracting them. I hope if i am ever in that situation the gods give me the strength to belt a few people who ARE screaming n being bloody annoying to give the rest of us some peace in our last moments. Screaming doesnt help unless youre being raped/bashed/crushed or the like.


Oh yeah
Hands up if you have alittle girl?
ok
Hands up those who taught their little girl NOT
TO
FUGGIN
SCREAM
AT
THE
DROP
OF
A
HAT????
I cant COUNT the number of times ive run out to see if that little girl in the park was being assaulted to find them playing happily. Drives me nuts. When ya have a go at them n their mbrain dead mothers you get that blank' im ok jack but you need to relax' look. fuggin zombies