wow its been a while

Im on holidays
12 days.
learning to surf on tuesday and wednesday of this and next week. Looking forward to it.

Should be fun.

raining again

global warming pffft a lie sold to government by universities as a method of securing more funding.
Where is chicken little when we need her?

Sometimes life sucks. Ya gotta suck it up n move on .
I think i have to move from where i am
I need to live closer to work.
I need to get out of the house Becky died in.

wow THAT long?

Me again

Focus has 10500kms on the clock now and is still screaming. I get over 40mpg easily.
We had a storm last night. HELL it was a storm.
Hqavent been stood up lately. Havent tried to date anyone. Fuck em. I dont NEED someone. It would just be nice to have a snuggle sometimes.
Ditched Plenty Of Fish, Match.com, RSVP, companions. Screw em all. Bunch of whiney pedantic idiots.

How is everyone ?

been sick

New car has 4500kms on it already!
Going like a train too. Damned nice to drive. Goes like the powers.

I have the flu. Persistent, annoying, mild version. You get JUST sick enough you think you can go to work. But youre really not well enough to do anything.

Been stood up TWICE by the same chick.
Derrrrr

And got stood up it looks like tonight by another just cuz she had a big night last night. fuck this.

gets well old.

May be a hermit

here tis

Well Ive got my new car. Its fantastic.
Went down to tend to Beckys grave on Saturday with my friend Heath.
By the time we got back from 11ookms it was revving freer and had a nice twin cammy growl it didnt have when we started the trip. The economy was fantastic. The power is smooth and constant. It handles fantastic and rides almost as well as my Peugeot.
I love it.

good and bad

Bought a new Ford Focus CL last monday. Hope to get it by the end of them month.

Dunno what Im gonna do with my Peugeot.

Had an accident during training in the new gas bus today. Silly woman opened her door straight into the front corner of the bus.

damn damn damn

Having trouble.
Every night as I come home from work (we are talking 1, 2 am here) I'm getting an overwhelming attack of the miseries. Start crying like a baby.
I miss Becky so bad.
I think I need some help :/

hey swingers

had lunch friday with a rather pleasant young woman. She is a lawyer. Settle down we are just gonna be friends. However I thoroughly enjoyed my lunch and the conversation.

Mike you get rather poetic at times eh?

Rockape you KNOW im an expert perv. N Sydney is perv city!

Not frankly looking forward to next week
Ok its pay week so thats great
but tis also World Youth Week
Every god botherer in the world is gonna be here looking serene. None of the chicks will have there boobs out. theres gonna be NO chatting up going on n loads of bless yous etc. Couldnt MELBOURNE host this? why cant we have world hotties who think busoperators are sexy week??

So I went to the movies while at work...

Went to see Hancock at the movies in Sydney today. Hopped a 440 from Leichhardt at 920am, got there at 950, had something to eat n watched the movie at 1030, hit a 440 back n was at the depot again by 1pm.

Love this job. Did barely 2 trips this morning. At 2pm I have Work As directed until 1422. Then i do a 440 in to the city n a 440 out. N then go home. I love this job. Cute chicks, sitting on my arse, seeing movies n surfin the net. Wonderful wonderful life.

BTW Work As Directed means sitting on my arse for 2 hours unless a bus breaks down then I might drive a replace3ment out. wow hard stuff.


So how is everyone out there not reading my blog?

well i went n did it this time Ollie

I signed up for an Optus mobile on a $49 capped plan yesterday
I also signed up for their $35 for 2 gig broadband deal n it smokes. It uses the 3G fone network. Im getting 7mbs upwards regularly. Beats shit outa 256k.

So Im well happy.

Took a cricket ball to the lower rib this arvo so im feeling a bit crook. Hurts a fair bit too. I'll get over it. I think its mostly a little shock from the impact.

havent been here in a while eh

ok ok ive been slack i know
Ive been working so bite me. Im working split shifts - 4 hours on 4 off n 4 on again. Sit around doing jack chit in the middle of the day which is boring as watching grass grow.
Enjoy the driving however.
I scraped an illegally parked car the other day. dipshit. Me and him. Did no damage to either vehicle.
Lots of pretty girls walking round sydney town eh.

Going to the gym tomorrow. They MAY remember who i am LOL. Having said that Ive lost 9 kilos since i started work at the depot so im doing something right.

Thinking of buying my sisters Peugeot 306 2 door. they dont need it n I want something newer to drive every day. Time to retire the old 505 til i have enough money to rebuild it.

Oh yeah

My sister hada baby girl last friday so she is a week old today!
Her name is Peyton Olivia n luckily she takes after her uncle mongoose. IE shes a total cutey.

Ive decided to get another mobile fone on some form of capped plan. I can only call mebbe 4 ppl at the moment n my $50 credit is GORN just gorn.
Hate that
was ok while Bec n her mum n my mum n dad all had optus prepaid fones. Dont call Bec anymore... dont call her mum much either for obvious reasons. Been calling ppl off network lately n find i get about 12 minutes actual talk time after ive been texting a bit.

the wheels on the bus... etc

damn it Rocky...

Well i drove one yesterday. BIG bastards arent they! And the one i drove was the smaller of the two!
I triumphed however. As in... didtn hit anything and didnt reduce my instructor to tears of terror. Win.
Worlds hardest job this... Do a trip (take passengers from here to there), have coffee (tea, hot chocolate..coffee = shorthand) at circular Quay looking at the water... do a couple of trips... have coffee somewhere where you can watch all the pretty girls who DIDNT get on your bus yet walk past. Go talk to some guy about some thingg... go to the depot for lunch. Thn I went driving after pissing about at the depot for over an hour after lunch what with one thing n another.

The other trainee who started with me cant believe his luck - he has been on hte Coogee Beach run THRICE now... mmm uni students.... mmm beach bunnies... just mmmmmm.. ive HAD to talk to 2 count em TWO cute french chix so far.... ello, can you elp moi... yes dear.. just kneel down n smile ... eep did i type that?

FINALLY!!!

OK THEN

I start at State Transit on Tuesday.
Hip hoobloodyray
See that chain? The really really LONNNNG one? Thats State Transit recruitment thats dragging it.
First I have the job
then i dont
then i DONT have to get my authority b4 training, then i do then i dont fer fuck sake. Its 4:35pm on friday n the file had to be approved by 5pm or I couldnt start Tuesday... talk about brinkmanship. Wankers
Anyway on Wednesday I had to tell the nice lady at the Food Wholesaling company that i wasnt working for them as of Friday (today) They said no point coming in tomorrow then so Ive had thursday n today off. Ida looked a RIGHT twat if I hadnt got the bus job after that (I was TOLD I had it when i quit but it turns out i didnt , not quite) The ppl at the food place acted like Id planned it to get yelled at for 2 weeks for crappy pay and no sleep.
Oh right
I started driving a delivery van for a food wholesalers monday 2 weeks ago. Pissweak pay, shitty starting times up at 3am each morning at work by 430 eep... Hated loading the damn things too. Liked the driving about here n there. Found out i think i will actually enjoy the bus driving as its basically the same cept there will be cute chicks getting on n off every now n then AND I shall know where I am actually going once i learn the routes.


Im actually looking forward to it I shall be earning more money than Ive EVER been paid and thats just the basic wage situation. There are ppl at the depot I shall be at earning over 90K pa... I will FAINT if i ever get one of THOSE pay packets.. $1500ish IN THE HAND after tax per week... wont know what to do , wont be anywhere near that for the first lil while though. Hell if i work saturday n sunday its more money than a WEEK with OT at the food place, thats not counting the rest of the week LOL
Ima buy a real nice car when Ive saved up some money. Maybe an overseas trip or 3
maybe a real expensive escort...
yeah
heh
kidding
or
am i?

FINALLY!!!

good day today

My batphone rang so much today it died.
I had the bus company call to give me a time to be at the depot they want me to work from tomorrow. Apparently I am going to meet the depot manager! No real idea what it is about except that Ivwe apparently gotten through the medical. So thats progressing. Wasnt happy with the pissing about though.

Got a call from Woolworths recruitment. Id applied for a night stackers job with them. Well hell today was the last day I got my pension so in 2 weeks i would be broke. As it is ive paid the rent for a fortnight.So i have an appointment for that tomorrow.

HOWEVER

yesterday I applied for a job as a delivery driver at a place about 30 minutes from here. They rang within an hour of me emailing my resume! I had the interview yesterday arvo. They rang this arvo n said when can you start! So I have a job starting monday.
Money isnt as good as the buses, but i think the petrol bill will be far lower, so, swings n roundabouts.

The way I see it the worst can happen is im there for a month until the bus job comes through. Even if i HATE it i can do it for a month.

Still no news from the Rail cop job. Though i finally got through to someone at their recruiting. I didnt pass the role playing section, but only JUST missed out. So apparently I can apply to resit the role play and they will tell me where i missed out. So thats all good IF it actually ever comes through. The girl I spoke to thought i was perfect for the position based on what was on her PC when she was looking me up. Which was nice.

The gym has been fun. I have fixed my backhand after reviewing my Geof Hunt on Squash tape. I have even improved my forehand striking. I did a boxercise class on tuesday that was well fun eh. Tiring though HEH. Im not losing loads of weight but I feel much better and Im starting to slim down some. Ive noticed b4 that when i do weights i tend to bulk up fairly fast in my shoulders n arms even on light weights. So I tend to add muscle which is heavy. So im not that worried about only dropping 4 kilos at this point.

Blood pressure is coming down slowly from its peak 160/110 when Becky died. Weird feeling that. You can hear your pulse ALL the time n feel rather heavy in the head. Its a weird feeling. BOM BOM BOM all flushed n hot all the time. Feel pretty good now. Looking forward to getting off the medication.

anyway
thats all from me.

me agin

Welcome to kiwi dan
ANOTHER reader!!!

Ok well
Havent heard a DAMNEDthing about the TRansit Officers position yet. Pissed off. Ive left msgs for them to ring me but pfft 2 whole working days and nothing.

Ive had a medical for the bus driving position AND the practical test in the bus which I passed. So its slow but it is progressing.

Feeling pretty crap lately inside.
Feeling great physically as Ive been going to the gym very regularly. Losong weight n getting fit. My squash shots are nearly back to where they were in Bathurst too.

me agin

its what... monday May 7th? yeah
I had a job interview in sydney on saturday with State Rail. Position of transit officer. Went pretty good , got through the first 2 stages. 3rd stage was role play which i THINK i went well at. Next IF I got through is a one on one interview and a medical. the pay is excellent and it sounds like a very satisfying position.
I have heard NOTHING from State TRansit about the bus driving position. One wonders if they were fucking with us. I went into that interview looking forward to working there n came out not sure I wanted the job. Contrast: went in to the rail interview uncertain i wanted it n came out hoping I get through.

I joined the local university gym last week. It has 2 squash courts which are free to use for members. also all the fitness classes etc. Basically I am now in the same position I was in at Bathurst except I dont have to shuttle between one n the other. N Bec still was alive.

I guess its fair to say Im sleeping better now than i was.
Coping ok. Still pretending a LOT though.
2 months seems like 2 days.

We have moved the house around a bit (I mean inside etc derr)
Turned Becs room into a change/ironing room. Moved the bed into what was the junk room n is now my bedroom. Left the spare room (my old room) pretty much as it was cept turned the bed around to face the door n turned the mattress. Bit of this n a bit of that. There was a small table out in the sun room Bec had her sewing machine on. It is now in the lounge doing duty for my laptop. AND the tablecloth on it is covering up the mass of ugly wires n cables next to the TV cabinet. Moved a few paintings and suchlike about too. Made it MY place. It was very much Becs place b4. Which is fair enough but it was doing my head in big time.

My mate HEath from Bathurst had a week vacation time n came down to stay last week.
We had a good time playing golf n squash. He had a hole in one the lucky bast. NEVER even seen one b4. We went to a couple of pubs here n there. Listened to some bands. Bloke stuff. You wouldnt understand. Went n looked at cars. havent done that in ages. just wandered about looking in caryards.

I realised not long ago Ive never actually lived alone b4. I either lived at college (mass people), with my exwife, at my parents or with Bec. This is a bit of a change. I'm confused. Lonely. but free to do what i want. I can go to the toilet with the DOOR OPEN (unless ppl are visiting) I dont have to FOLD my laundry unless mum is coming by. I can sneak the dogs in once in a while fer a treat. Doesnt kill the loneliness though. I miss her so much.

I wish i had a few more (even ONE would be nice) female friends to talk to. Not 'show me ya tits' talk. oh well.

bored you all enough
one last thing

played squash 3 times last week. Been to the gym thrice fer a hit this week meself. Went to the nets yesterday arvo. Hitting a cricket ball with an authority I have NOT been able to muster all SUMMER. Seems I NEED to be hitting a squash ball fer my hand eye coordination. JUST practicing cricket doesnt do it. My feet work better, I swing the bat with more power AND control. Was hitting scoring shots off balls that would easily have gotten me out 3 weeks ago. AND with my heavier County bat which Ive struggled with all season Even after lightening it by grinding some of the back out. And i painted a red stripe on the back - anyone ever steals it they are in fer trouble its VERY distinctive lol. Feels like a much lighter bat now. Figures though. Too late to save our season eh. *I* find form 2 weeks after the season finishes! If ida taken this course 2 weeks b4 the semis we may have won - Paul n I would certainly have been able to bat out the day the way Ive been hitting it. As it was I was dejected n demoralised. I think I have a mental issue - I find it EASY to see a squash ball doing 150mph but hard to see a cricket ball doing mebbe 80. Then when Im back playing squash the cricket ball suddenly looks real big n REAL slow.
I also put a lil kick in to my delivery stride when bowling. Suddenly I have much better accuracy AND the ball is actually SPINNING! I cant believe doing a lil kick out with my front leg as I deliver the ball could make such a difference!

anyway. I should go do breakfast n meds.

What day is it?

Its thursday

had the interview with state transit on tuesday
weird way of interviewing people. No idea how i went. wont know for another week or so.

Feeling pretty low today.

Was almost happy we got knocked out of the semi finals at cricket. LBW for 3 :/
pathetic. we got rolled for 75 chasing 186. REAL competitive. Well good luck to Glossodia eh. Getting knocked out means i dont have to fake being upbeat n cheerful next week in the finals.

Brought mocha n zena home yesterday. Both went looking for Bec :/ They seem to be getting along better. Poor zena she loves grumpy lil mocha but mocha is terrified of her. Which shows by her growling n snapping at zena.

feeling very sad...

What day is it?

Its me

Having a go at staying at home tonight.
Dunno how I will go really.

Ive applied for a position as a bus driver (trainee) with the State Transit Authority.
fingers crossed there then.

Beckys' lil dog (I guess my lil dog now) is still a little puzzled where mummy is. Every now n then she wanders over to the door at mums' n gazes out.

In compleatly who cares news Im 10 not out over night in our match against Riverstone. Opened the batting.

I went n got contact lenses from an old friend who is derr an optometrist. Cost less than half what I was quoted where I got my glasses. Theyre 14 use throwawys. Cant believe how much more comfortable they are than when I had contacts b4 (I mean 15 years ago). I love not having to wear glasses. I love being able to wear sunglasses. I love that my face is healing where the glasses were rubbing on my face. I can see my nose again!!

I cleaned my car the other day. It looks all shiney n is nice n clean inside etc.

We go down to Beckys' grave on the 15th as it is her birthday :( I am gonna go have a swim there opposite the cemetery


Hope everyone is ok out there.