sometimes I wonder if there really is a god

Im not talking about yer standard judaeo/christian offering. Dont really know what I mean exactly, but...

When you stand on the tee at sunrise n watch it peep over the shoulders of the hills on the other side of the lake, wait for the various species of cockatoos to do their worship the sun thing,then hit a perfect drive straight down the middle picture perfect n hear the gunshot crack of the perfect 1 wood shot then perrrhaps there is some sort of god out there. I think he plays golf. I think she plays golf.

There is no god. If there were I would not be so ill-equipped to play squash. My legs are too short. My reflexes are too slow. I simply cannot hit the damn ball anywhere near as hard as I want to. I wouldnt be shortsighted. I would have a lot more fast twitch muscle fibres. I would be able to run all day without getting tired. Sweat wouldnt shit me shit me shit meeeeeeeee. Everyone tells me Ive 'got the shots' whatever that means to them - to me it means bloody hard work on a daily basis - I have no natural ability you see. So I think there may be some form of impish mischievious demon (in the non satanic sense) who enjoys these sorts of practical jokes.

I know I cannot hit the ball as hard as the top pros. Hell I cant hit it as hard as the top guys where I play. Shits me bad that do. God is a funny guy/gal/EBE, though, Ive stood on the same driving range with one of Australia's top golf pros, with same bucket of crappy red striped driving range balls aiming at the same distance marker 270 metres away n hit it just the same as the pro. Infact I got bored n started hitting the 300 metre sign. Which he couldnt reach. Drive for show they say. Generally people who cant drive. I always said back ' I'll take my 2 putts n be happy Ive taken ONE shot to reach where you are in 4 - so what if you one putted woohoo'

So I could probably be pretty good at a game I play once a year these days if Im lucky. But started playing too old n late - didnt pick up a club til I was 24. But I am eternally frustrated at the game I actually love.

Im not gonna buy into the 'why would god preate hurricanes etc' argument as they are understandable naturally occuring phemonena.


Ok picking on TV time again:

I don't watch Threshold - if I wanna see alien conspiracy shit on TV I go get an old X-files tape cuz atleast Scully has gorgeous tits.
But this struck me in the TV guide this week. Some guy in the show gets turned into an alien/human hybrid buy (get this its a HOOT) EATING some alien dna. Right.
I eat cow DNA every day nearly. *checks for horns* no not that one. heh no I think I am maintaining my essential humanness. Apparently eating alien DNA is enough to mutate your own DNA. Quite. Here is a tip shitwits. It might make you a little SICK cuz your body hasnt evolved to PROCESS it as food but I'm pretty sure any DNA you injest will be unhappy at BEST when it hits the hydrochloric acid in your stomach. At LEAST the X-files had top scientists working for 50 years to combine human and alien DNA to try to make a hybrid. That was somewhat buyable in the 'ok its the X-Files I'll suspend disbelieve a touch' vein. But EATING DNA ? please.

N they keep rehashing that old bloody 'Bermuda Triangle' crap up too. Someone should follow the footnotes one day it gets interesting.One author quotes another who quotes the first author round n round it goes. In the bullshit books I mean. I mean seriously. That area of the Atlantic is KNOWN for the od hurricane once in a while. You think the odd ship might not go down in the ODD storm? wow what a concept. I wish I could remember the name of the book I read when I was about 25 which totally put it in perspective for me. The guy actually went n traced EVERY so-called 'famous' incident. What you read or see portrayed on tv isnt ever what really happened. If the story starts 'It was a bright sunny day when they set out to go fishing' then 'they' were either half tanked idiots sailing out in the eye of a hurricane or it was right on dusk n a bloody great storm was about to hit. The one I remember clearest was about the ship the Marine Sulphur Queen. Wow it 'mysteriously vanished' one day. Yep loaded with suphur. Yep in rough seas. Yep people heard a 'mysterious' explosion out to sea. Yep the thing BLEW UP. Yep that class of ship had a HABIT of blowing up. What a 'mystery'.

douchebags

I am willing to believe that bigfoot exists though.
I think the yeti is a rare form of tibetan bear which has been hyped out of all recognition by western media.

I think the loch ness monster is a giant otter
I mean really
There simply isnt enough biomass to support a breeding population of large dinosaur like creatures. besides. You think they wouldnt be found easily enough with sonar n a sunny afternoon? Derr. We can find submarines in the OCEAN pretty easy n they are actively trying to hide.A lake is just not the same in volume terms. OK mebbe the great lakes in america or lake Baikal theyre pretty damned big. But really. I think a giant otter at about 6 or 7 feet tip to tail would look pretty damned impressive to someone who had been indulging scotlands other famouos export.